Sunday, 15 May 2011

To Begin

Before I start describing things to you about what I am going through, I shall take the liberty to describe to you what I have gone through.
I was born into a "normal" household where my father was away a lot due to work and my mother was at home raising me and my younger brother.
However, a few years into life, my mother decided to buy a pharmacy, this essentially induced a role reversal in the household. Dad continued to work full-time but stopped going on business trips and Mum proceeded to be away 40 - 70 hours a week. Naturally, most of this time was while I was at school, but still, Mum was never at home when I got back from my place of formal education and Dad began to cook meals more so than Mum.
School for me was a strange one (but then, for who is it not?), on my first day in grade one, I was physically abused by senior students. Forced up to the area of the yard out-of-sight from teachers and made to do push-ups and the like. Upon returning to class I would be persecuted for being late. This may strike one as incomprehensible, so please, allow me to explain to you the intense psychological conditioning imparted unto me by my first interactions with a "senior" member of society that had not yet reached adulthood.

The older students would ask me;
"Why are you bleeding?", I would reply,
"You hit me", at which point I would receive another strike. This process repeated itself until when next I was asked,
"Why are you bleeding?", I would reply,
"I fell down the stairs." or "I was playing football" or some other fantasy story which did, in my head,
become a truth. I have been informed that such behaviour is possible as prior to the age of eight, children have the ability to completely remove themselves from the world and place themselves in a situation that is desirable to them but may not actually be real. As such, it took me much consideration and aid from Freudian psychotherapy techniques to reveal that I did not actually have a childhood filled with lunch-times playing sport but instead was running away from the truth.


  1. My heart goes out to you. I hop e you've overcome the trials to become a content human being.

  2. Im sorry to hear this, i hope that you find a way to overcome this :)

  3. Ah, lovely childhood stories. It is during this time most are shaped into their social personae. I'd love to know how things progressed.